Ah, Football!

I know, I know, it's in the dead of non-football season. That's precisely why these are so awesome right now! Feast your deprived eyes on these trick plays and incredible feats of footballishness:

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

Only a couple more months to go...

Have a great weekend!

Fun And Frivolity: Coming Home And Insane Discoveries

Grab a tissue and watch these heroes come home:

Awesome.

Now, for that random bit of fun-ness that you know you just love to anticipate all week long...check out 6 insane discoveries that science can't explain (***language warning!***). My favorites:

#5.

The Antikythera Mechanism

The Mystery:

The Antikythera mechanism is an ancient, intricate machine found in a shipwreck near Greece that dates back to about 100 BC. The Antikythera mechanism contains gears and structures that were not found in devices again for 1000 years, and only then when the Muslims and Chinese were busy inventing s*** while the Europeans were busy killing each other.

Why Can't They Solve It?

First, no one can agree on where the Antikythera mechanism was made or who designed it. Popular belief was that it was made by the Greeks due to its instructions all being in Greek (about a million of our tax dollars were probably spent arriving at that genius conclusion) but serious research published in serious places suggested the design came from Sicily.

And a billion parts with indecipherable instructions suggest it comes from Ikea. Ba-zing!

The mechanism, aside from placing you at serious risk for severing a finger, was supposedly used to figure out astronomical positions. The problem with that is that at the time this thing was made, no one had yet discovered laws of gravity or how heavenly bodies moved.

In other words, the Antikythera mechanism appears to have functions that no one alive at that time would have understood, and no single mechanical purpose of that era (such as navigating ships) explains the crazy number of functions and settings this machine has.

Our Guess:

It's a scrap from a time machine that exploded the moment it arrived in the past.

#1.

The Bloop

The Mystery:

Tired of having its mind blown by the guys in the archeology department, in 1997 modern science's mind pulled itself up off the mat and triumphantly blew itself.

In that year, the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration recorded a strange sound in the ocean. Strange and LOUD. So loud that it was picked up by two separate microphones 3,000 [miles] apart. The sound, dubbed "The Bloop," doesn't sound like anything at normal speed. However, the NOAA did us the favor of speeding up the recording to 16 times the normal speed, causing it to sound like a turd dropping into the toilet. Bloop! Except, you know, awesomely loud.

Scientists determined that its wave pattern indicates it was made by an animal, and not a giant electromagnet sucking a plane out of the sky, as the creators of Lost were no doubt hoping.

Why Can't They Solve It?

There is no animal big enough or loud enough to make that kind of noise, not by a long shot. Not a blue whale, not a howler monkey, not a startled teenage girl.

Not long after the NOAA posted the sound to their web site, some HP Lovecraft fans on the internet quite reasonably decided that The Bloop must have been made by Lovecraft's Cthulhu, a giant, murderous squid-dragon-thing.

Our Guess:

Yeah, we're also going with Cthulhu.

Other entries include giant stone balls, ancient iron pipes, and more. Check it out!

And have a great weekend!

Fun And Frivolity: Bordering On The Absurd

This Arizona illegal immigration thing has really stoked the flames of political humor, and I just couldn't resist. Hat tips to Patriot Post and Melekiop for all of this. Enjoy!

If you cross the North Korean border illegally you get 12 years hard labor.

If you cross the Iranian border illegally you are detained indefinitely.

If you cross the Afghan border illegally, you get shot.

If you cross the Saudi Arabian border illegally you will be jailed.

If you cross the Chinese border illegally you may never be heard from again.

If you cross the Venezuelan border illegally you will be branded a spy and your fate will be sealed.

If you cross the Cuban border illegally you will be thrown into political prison to rot.

If you cross the U.S. border illegally you get:

• a job,
• a drivers license,
• social security card,
• welfare,
• food stamps,
• credit cards,
• subsidized rent or a loan to buy a house,
• free education,
• free health care,
• a lobbyist in washington
• billions of dollars worth of public documents printed in your language
• the right to carry your country's flag while you protest that you don't get enough respect and, in many instances, you can vote.
  

Okay, I guess that one wasn't very funny because it's so true. The rest of these are good, though.






Have a great weekend!

Fun And Frivolity: Get Your Swagger On

Last year we bought a Toyota Sienna (we were looking at the Town&Country, too, but I just couldn't stomach a government-owned vehicle once the bailouts went through). Since then, Toyota has embarked upon a genius marketing campaign that completely cracks me up. Embrace the Swagger Wagon:

But that's just the beginning...

And there's more...

Ah, the Swagger Wagon...

Good times. Good times.

Have a great weekend!

Fun And Frivolity: The Original Star Wars Trilogy In Two Minutes

Although it's hard to fathom, there are still people in this country who have not seen the Star Wars movies. Fear not - this post is for you! Not only is it done in Legos, but it's a darned good summary of three classic movies in just over 120 seconds. Enjoy:

Have a great weekend!

PS - where are Episodes 1-3...?
PPSS - Annie, this one's for you!

Fun And Frivolity: Political Cartoons

Readers and friends have forwarded me a bunch of funny political cartoons in the past few weeks, so I'm going to go ahead and post my favorites of those rather than the usual non-political humor. Thanks to all of you who contributed! Enjoy...
















Have a great weekend!

Fun And Frivolity: Group Fun

Two videos to close out this week, both depicting group fun. First up is a cool video that almost looks like a commercial or something about a mountain biking trail that looks pretty amazing. Check it out:

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

Sweet! I'm not even a biker, and this looks fun to me!

Second up is a video of an excellent prank executed magnificently by an entire class of high schoolers:

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

My high school actually canceled our last day of school, so I never found out what we would have done. *sigh* Oh well.

Have a great weekend!

Fun And Frivolity: Interesting, Impressive, And Incredible

Three videos to finish off this week. First, the interesting - a visual on all of the large-aircraft flights in the world over a 24-hour period (each yellow dot is one aircraft):

Can you solve a Rubik's Cube? Balance ten or twelve books on your head for almost a minute? Recite the first couple dozen digits of pi? Same here. That's why there's no other word for this girl than impressive:

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

Finally, we have something that is just pretty damned incredible:

See more funny videos and TBT Videos at Today's Big Thing.

Have a great weekend!

Fun And Frivolity: Random Funny Videos

No theme tonight, just some videos that made me chuckle. Enjoy!

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

See more funny videos and TBT Videos at Today's Big Thing.

See more funny videos and TBT Videos at Today's Big Thing.

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

Have a great weekend!

Fun And Frivolity: Haircuts And Powderpuff Cheerleading

A little humor from Patriot Post:

The Haircut

One day a florist went to a barber for a haircut. After the cut, he asked about his bill, and the barber replied, "I cannot accept money from you; I'm doing community service this week." The florist was pleased and left the shop.

When the barber went to open his shop the next morning, there was a "thank you" card and a dozen roses waiting for him at his door.

Later, a police officer came in for a haircut and, when he tried to pay his bill, the barber again replied, "I cannot accept money from you; I'm doing community service this week." The officer was happy and left the shop.

The next morning when the barber went to open up, there was a "thank you" card and a dozen donuts waiting for him at his door.

A Congressman came in for a haircut and, when he went to pay his bill, the barber again replied, "I can not accept money from you; I'm doing community service this week." The Congressman was very happy and left the shop.

The next morning, when the barber went to open up, there were a dozen Congressmen lined up waiting for a free haircut. And that, my friends, illustrates the fundamental difference between the citizens of our country and the politicians who run it.

Boy, is that not scary accurate, or what?

I couldn't resist posting this video of a stellar powderpuff cheerleading performance tour de force:

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

Now that's being secure in your manhood! (Not sure what they're going to do with those stretched-out cheerleader outfits, though.)

Have a great weekend!

Fun And Frivolity: That's A Pretty Amazing Planet Ya' Got There

To end this week, here are some incredible pics of this amazing world:







Want more? Check out this page, where you can vote for your favorite 'new 7 wonders of the world'. This truly is an amazing place God made for us. I firmly believe we need to stop and simply drink it in every now and then.

*****

By the way, I'm going to be away from the keyboard for the next few days, so there likely won't be any new posts for about a week. If you'd like to stay on top of the news, all of the links to the right are excellent. In particular, I'd suggest the following if you're interested in...

...legislative chicanery and sneaky maneuvers: RedState and American Spectator
...irreverent terrorist-bashing: The Jawa Report
...great commentary on current events (and a bit of snark): Ace of Spades and Gateway Pundit
...top-notch political analysis: Hot Air
...hard-core number crunching and analysis: Heritage Foundation
...insightful and thought-provoking commentary: American Thinker and NRO
...all the news there is: Drudge Report
...reporting the MSM won't do: Washington Times

Remember, the Dems are reportedly going to implement a parliamentary trick to pass DemCare without actually voting on it (or publicizing the final bill) sometime next week. Call your Reps repeatedly -- especially if they're a Democrat -- and demand they stand with the American people, who oppose DemCare nearly 2:1. The future of America is at stake on this one; let's not fail our kids and grandkids.

Have a great week!

Fun And Frivolity: Exploding Whale, Obamamotors' New Masterpiece, And Vader's Cat

No, these three things really aren't related...other than the fact that they all amuse me.

Exploding whale

The 40th anniversary of a landmark event revisits a rather foolish plan...

Hahahahahahahaha...!!!!! Really? No one saw this possibility??


Obamamotors' new masterpiece

Hillbuzz posted this a while ago, and I couldn't help linking it:



The caption underneath extols the virtues of Obamamotors' new masterpiece:

The New GM (Government Motors)
Proudly Introduces
The 2010 Obama
This car runs on hot air, bull-s*** and broken promises.
It has three wheels that speed the vehicle through tight left turns.
It comes complete with two teleprompters programmed to help the occupants talk their way out of any violations.
The transparent canopy reveals the plastic smiles still on the faces of all the happy owners.
Comes in S, M, L, XL and 2XL (pictured)
It won’t get you to work, but hey, there aren’t any jobs anyway!

Brilliant! Let's hope (for all our sakes) that their satire remains satire rather than becoming prophecy.


Vader's cat

This just makes me laugh:



Now that's just AWESOME!

Have a great weekend!

Fun And Frivolity: Mocking Microsoft, Patriot Humor, And A Modern Spin On A Timeless Classic

This website posts their top 10 videos mocking the company we all love to hate: Microsoft. These are my favorites:

Now we have some humor from Patriot Post:


Scary accurate, huh?

Speaking of scary accurate, here's a modern spin on a timeless classic that a friend forwarded to me:

THE ANT AND THE GRASSHOPPER

Two different versions, two different morals...

OLD VERSION
The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter.

The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.

Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed. The grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he dies out in the cold.

MORAL OF THE STORY: Be responsible for yourself!

MODERN VERSION
The ant works hard in the withering heat and the rain all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter.

The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.

Come winter, the shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know why the ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while he is cold and starving.

CBS, NBC, PBS, CNN, and ABC show up to provide pictures of the shivering grasshopper next to a video of the ant in his comfortable home with a table filled with food.

America is stunned by the sharp contrast. How can this be, that in a country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so?

Kermit the Frog appears on Oprah with the grasshopper and everybody cries when they sing, 'It's Not Easy Being Green...' ACORN stages a demonstration in front of the ant's house where the news stations film the group singing, We shall overcome. Then Rev. Jeremiah Wright has the group kneel down to pray to God for the grasshopper's sake.

President Obama condemns the ant and blames President Bush, President Reagan, Christopher Columbus, and the Pope for the grasshopper's plight.

Nancy Pelosi & Harry Reid exclaim in an interview with Larry King that the ant has gotten rich off the back of the grasshopper, and both call for an immediate tax hike on the ant to make him pay his fair share.

Finally, the EEOC drafts the Economic Equity & Anti-Grasshopper Act retroactive to the beginning of the summer.

The ant is fined for failing to hire a proportionate number of green bugs and, having nothing left to pay his retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by the Government Green Czar and given to the grasshopper.

The story ends as we see the grasshopper and his free-loading friends finishing up the last bits of the ants food while the government house he is in, which, as you recall, just happens to be the ant's old house, crumbles around them because the grasshopper doesn't maintain it.

The ant has disappeared in the snow, never to be seen again.

The grasshopper is found dead in a drug related incident, and the house, now abandoned, is taken over by a gang of spiders who terrorize the ramshackle, once prosperous and once peaceful, neighborhood.

The entire Nation collapses, bringing the rest of the free world with it.

MORAL OF THE STORY: Be careful how you vote in 2010.

Don't bother sending this on to any grasshoppers because they wouldn't understand it, anyway.

I'm not sure Kermit would have participated like this, but otherwise it seems dead on to me!

Have a great weekend!

Fun and Frivolity: Keepin' It Political

We're going to keep it political this time around because I've gotten so much funny stuff that is political in nature. Enjoy!

From Gregg...

This is what the last few First Couples looked like coming into the White House...and the second photo is what they look like going out...

And...

Alexander Hamilton, founding father, first secretary of the treasure and leader of the constitutional convention:


Andrew Jackson, "Old Hickory " fought the British in New Orleans:


Ulysses Grant, Union army general, lead the North through the Civil War:


Ben Franklin, Genius inventor, political theorist and leading author of the constitution:


Where to put our current President's picture:


(More of his voters will see it here than any other place, so it is appropriate.)

And...

First came the commemorative coins, then the T-shirts, and then the plates. Now, something for the rest of us...

Sweet! But only one square per person, please!

From Patriot Post...

Lawrence Livermore National Laboratory in California has now identified with certainty the heaviest element known to science.

The new element, Pelosium (PL), has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons, and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.

These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.

Pelosium is inert, and has no charge and no magnetism. Nevertheless, it can be detected because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A tiny amount of Pelosium can cause a reaction that would normally take less than a second, to take from 4 days to 4 years to complete.

Pelosium has a normal half-life of 2 years. It does not decay, but instead undergoes a biennial reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places.

Pelosium mass will increase over time, since each reorganization will promote many morons to become isodopes.

This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe that Pelosium is formed whenever morons reach a critical concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as critical morass.

When catalyzed with money, Pelosium becomes Senatorium, an element that radiates just as much energy as Pelosium since it has half as many peons but twice as many morons.

And...

My dog sleeps about 20 hours a day. He has his food prepared for him. He can eat whenever he wants, 24/7/365. His meals are provided at no cost to him. He visits the Dr. once a year for his checkup, and again during the year if any medical needs arise. For this he pays nothing, and nothing is required of him. He lives in a nice neighborhood in a house that is much larger than he needs, but he is not required to do any upkeep. If he makes a mess, someone else cleans it up. He has his choice of luxurious places to sleep. He receives these accommodations absolutely free. He is living like a king, and has absolutely no expenses whatsoever. All of his costs are picked up by others who go out and earn a living every day. I was just thinking about all this, and suddenly it hit me like a brick in the head: My dog must be a democrat!

That's probably enough for this week - you get the point, I'm sure. Stay tuned for next Friday, when I expect to post more stories like these. Until then, have a great weekend!

The Carlson Crew

Fun And Frivolity: Incredible Talent

Sorry this is a little delayed; I'm reinstalling the OS on my primary computer, and the backup laptop isn't quite as zippy. Nevertheless, we press on...!

This week's fun-ness is all about incredible talent. First up is a video of the winner of Ukraine's Got Talent for 2009. I've never heard of sand art before, but this is...wow! She's apparently depicting some major historical events from Ukraine's history, and it's amazing:

Next we have a different kind of talent, but one I hope I have down the road. It's an elderly couple who put on an impromptu show in the lobby area of the Mayo clinic:

If that doesn't warm your heart, you're just a jerk.

Finally, we have yet another kind of...uh...talent:

Female drivers take an average of 20 seconds longer to park their cars but are still less likely to end up in the middle of the bay, the research suggests.

As part of the test 65 people were asked to park an Audi A6 family saloon in a standard-sized parking space.

Their manoeuvres – including head-on, reverse and parallel parking – were timed and rated for accuracy, which was judged by how far they kept the vehicle from the edges of the bay.

While the researchers expected the women volunteers to be slower, they were surprised to find that the cautious approach did not lead to a tidier final result.

I know, but I couldn't resist! Besides, you know who you are... ;)

Have a great weekend!

Fun And Frivolity: Awesome Tech, Then And Now

This is some pretty sweet stuff...I always enjoy discovering sci-fi weapons that actually exist. Here are my favorites:

Behold the Laser Avenger, a cannon that could be used to take down incoming aircraft. Boeing was able to shoot a drone out of the sky with the hummer-mounted laser.

Even the angriest mobs would probably think twice about trying to pass a Taser Shockwave barrier. It is the less-lethal equivalent of a claymore mine. Push the big red button, and it will fire 24 electrified probes at the same time in a single direction.

The Maars system (above) can be equipped with four grenade launchers and a machine gun that packs 400 rounds of 7.62 caliber ammunition.

But its manufacturers like to point out its less-lethal capabilities. Instead of mowing people down, it can stick to the fine print of the first law of robotics and fire tear gas canisters, smoke grenades, smoke bombs and perhaps even Taser’s upcoming 40mm people-zapper projectile. Three were deployed to Iraq last year.

Finally, here is an absolute mind-boggler...a 1,500-year old computer:

X-rays and advanced photography have uncovered the true complexity of the mysterious Antikythera mechanism, a device so astonishing that its discovery is like finding a functional Buick in medieval Europe.

In 1900, some divers found the wreck of a Roman vessel off the Greek island of Antikythera. Among the other treasures remanded to the Greek government was an unassuming corroded lump. Some time later, the lump fell apart, revealing a damaged machine of unknown purpose, with some large gears and many smaller cogs, plus a few engraved words in Greek. Early studies suggested it was some type of astronomical time-keeping device – researcher Derek J. de Solla Price laid the groundwork by establishing initial tooth counts and suggesting that the device followed the Metonic cycle, a 235-month pattern commonly used to predict eclipses in the ancient world.

The full function and beauty of the Antikythera device remained hidden until recent studies subjected it to more advanced imaging techniques. ...

The findings, published in Nature, are probably best described as "mind blowing." Devices with this level of complexity were not seen again for almost 1,500 years, and the Antikythera mechanism's compactness actually bests the later designs. Probably built around 150 B.C., the Antikythera mechanism can perform a number of functions just by turning a crank on the side.

Using nothing but an ingenious system of gears, the mechanism could be used to predict the month, day and hour of an eclipse, and even accounted for leap years. It could also predict the positions of the sun and moon against the zodiac, and has a gear train that turns a black and white stone to show the moon's phase on a given date. It is possible that it could also show the astronomical positions of the planets known to the ancients: Mercury, Venus, Mars, Jupiter and Saturn.

Sweet! Have a great weekend.

Fun And Frivolity: He Shoots, He Scores! (No Way!)

Remember when I posted that college prank where an unsuspecting victim supposedly won half a million dollars after making a blindfolded half court shot? The crowd was in on it, and went nuts at just the right moment as if he'd made it...priceless!

Well, a high school right here in KC tried to prank one of their teachers, Joel Branstrom, the same way -- with NCAA Final Four tickets on the line -- but it turned out just a wee bit differently:

Apparently, the teacher (who was also the girls basketball coach) suspected a pie in the face, which is why he held the ball up in front of him for a moment before shooting.

Of course, the students never considered the fact that he might make the shot, so there were no Final Four tickets; in the end, the students felt so guilty that they ended up buying him a gift certificate to a local restaurant. Branstrom was a great sport, however, and was very gracious about the whole thing.

But wait, that's not all...!

As the video hit the Internet and thousands of people saw it, major sports shows picked it up, too. Pretty soon, offers began trickling in from people willing to donate Final Four tickets to reward the prank-gone-wrong. Finally, the NCAA itself got involved and made the offer official - Branstrom, his wife, and his four children were given tickets, lodging, and transportation for the entire weekend.

Kudos to the NCAA for stepping up to the plate for such an amazing feat, and congrats to Coach Branstrom!

Have a great weekend!

Fun And Frivolity: Spacey Things

One more amusing Darth Vader video to share:

But seriously, what if we were to actually engage in a real space battle? Get your geek on and check this out for a lengthy discussion of how it might go.

Finally, while we're in a pondering mood, here's a peek at seven questions that keep physicists awake at night...

Okay, okay, we can't end the week on that, so here are a couple cartoons that are applicable to this week's events:

Have a great weekend!