Global Warming Update

I like to end my work week with as much amusement as possible.  To that end, I wanted to post a global warming update.

As the new chief diplomat of the U.S. -- which we all know causes 110% of all global warming in the universe -- Hillary Clinton is ready to tackle the issue.  Why Hillary and not the Energy Secretary, you say?  Well, because, don't you know, global warming will cause war all over the globe!  It's a diplomatic effort now, and nothing to do with science (or, coincidentally, the sun).

Seriously, though, it's gotta be pretty tough being a greenie.  Take a look at all the trouble you have to go through to maintain your moral high ground on the environment via Hot Air:

Eric Massa, the Congressman from New York's 29th District ... wanted to promote hydrogen-fueled vehicles as an answer to ending greenhouse-gas emissions, and so planned to drive himself to Washington DC in a GM model for publicity.  However, Massa's green ride got a big-time boost from two enormous SUVs:

Massa had to be in the nation's capital Tuesday for his swearing in as the 29th Congressional District's new representative. He drove the General Motors Equinox prototype car to draw attention to the technology, some of which is being developed in the district.

The problem is the car can go about 150 to 200 miles without a refill, and the trip from Corning to Washington, D.C. is 282 miles. And there are no hydrogen refilling stations along the way.

As a result, Massa had to switch to another GM hydrogen fuel cell vehicle that was standing by in Harrisburg.

So, okay, maybe Massa could have used this to make a point about infrastructure.  We don't have a hydrogen infrastructure to allow a 282-mile drive, and he could make that a selling point for Barack Obama's policies for spending money on alternative-energy distribution networks.  However, it makes the better point that alternative-energy vehicles at this stage are inferior to traditionally powered cars for anyone who wants to drive long distances.

But that's not the end of the story.  Massa only had to travel one way for this trip.  What happened to those cars?

After the trip, both cars were towed back to their original locations by two Chevrolet Tahoe hybrid SUVs.

What?  Not the Chevy Tahoe E85 vehicle that gets a whopping 15 MPG on the highway?  No, this looks like the 2009 hybrid that gets 22 MPG on the highway — when not towing a vehicle behind it.  Hybrid or not, the two SUVs dispersed much more greenhouse gases out their tailpipe than if Massa had just used a run-of-the-mill compact or mid-sized sedan on his one-way trip.  Instead, Massa wound up having to use four cars for a one-way 282-mile trip to DC, thanks to his decision to go green.

Tsk, tsk.  All that hassle, and he still ended up wreaking havoc on the fragile ecosystem by using four cars instead of one like a normal person.  But I'm sure he feels pretty good about himself, and, at the end of the day isn't that what matters most?

Moving on...

If you're living in an alternate universe, you're probably still concerned about global warming.  Most of the rest of us, however, are more concerned about not turning into a popsicle.  A sample of the headlines:

Big chill clamps down on upper Midwest
Lingering Arctic Cold
Snow possible for inauguration
Shocking cold wave drops temps to 40 below zero
Subzero Cold for Chicago to New York City
Blowing snow and frigid temperatures pound nation
Wicked: Coldest Temps In Over A Decade
Record snowfall, plunging temperatures hit the area [Chicago]
Flint's 95-year-old record low falls as 19 below zero hits city

Clearly, the sinister and unstoppable forces of (American-made) global warming are working overtime.  All I have to say is, "It's frickin' freezing in here, Mr. Bigglesworth!"

There's my two cents.