Advance Copy Of Michelle O's Speech

Michelle Malkin has an 'exclusive' look at Michelle Obama's keynote speech at the DNC tonight. I highly encourage you to read it in its entirety, and follow the links for supporting details. If you don't know Barack the Obamessiah (and, judging from the campaign's goal of 'introducing' him to America tonight, you don't), this will be very good information for you to ponder in detail:

Good evening, my fellow Barack Americans!

I am Michelle Obama. (Pause for adulation. Frown at insufficient applause. Wait for more.)

I am just an ordinary working mom from an ordinary town. A "civilian" innocent in the ways of politics. Just like you.

(Well, except for my hard Left thesis-writing skills. And my hard-core Chicago family political ties. And my high-powered, $317,000-a-year affirmative action job. And my role in organizing the Woods Fund panel that Weather Underground terrorist Bill Ayers and Barack appeared on together.)

Some have referred to me as Obama's "bitter half."

But, really, truly, I am so grateful to be here tonight.

(Well, except for all the burdensome sacrifices I have been forced to make throughout this campaign in pursuit of the White House and my victimization at the hands of those wife-beating racist Republicans.)

I have made these inordinate sacrifices because Barack Obama is a real American, a Barack American, just like you.

Except when he's not like you.

Because He is special. He is The One, my honey, my babies' daddy, the soul-fixer we have all been waiting for.

Let me repeat: I am just the simple, ordinary, civilian spouse of The One trying to juggle my daughters' expensive piano and ballet lessons with Access Hollywood interviews and People magazine photo shoots.

But I do know this: We are living in a historic moment, a moment that makes me prouder than any other moment I can recall in my adult lifetime as a citizen of this downright mean great country.

And I know that you need to celebrate his specialness, uniqueness, and everything he represents. You need to. You must.

(Translation: He's black and if you don't celebrate, you're a bigot or a race traitor.)

Barack cares. I care. As an ordinary civilian mom, I share your concerns about access to health care. And so does Barack.

(As for that dump-the-sick policy at the University of Chicago which has enriched Barack's countless campaign advisers, well, that is a distraction and a conversation that we don't need to have because it doesn't help my kids.)

I've warned you before and I will warn you again:

"Barack Obama will require you to work. He is going to demand that you shed your cynicism. That you put down your division. That you come out of your isolation. That you move out of your comfort zones. That you push yourselves to be better. And that you engage. Barack will never allow you to go back to your lives as usual."

That is a threat you can believe in.

Now, please join me in raising the Obama salute before I retreat back into my Cone of Protection from criticism for my public comments:

You gotta' love hopiness and changitude, because it just makes you feel so darned good!

On the other hand, Stuart Rothenberg suggests that it's going to take more than soaring rhetoric about change and unity to prevent a losing effort and significant buyer's remorse in November.

Yeah, reality has a way of forcing the rubber onto the road, doesn't it?

There's my two cents.